Enthralled, I want to do it all

headband: anthropologie | choker: diy | dot mesh top: free people | dress: free people | tights: urban outfitters | boots: n/a

headband: anthropologie | choker: diy | dot mesh top: free people | dress: free people | tights: urban outfitters | boots: n/a

There is a dynasty in my mind. I'm trying to get it out. I'm working silently on something, several somethings, each grander than anything I have attempted in my life. I'm struggling to compartmentalize the debris, the resonance, the concept shared between the three into their respective categories. But I always revered the thrill of working on several distinct projects at once. Giving yourself a much needed break from tending to one gives much to the other. Your brain, led to believe that it is lax, switches to subliminal problem solving.  This results in breakthroughs when you were just about ready to break down. The similarity in structure to the sea: how the worst waves slow to a lull; or the reverse, that tranquil eye before tragedy ensues...the cliched eye of the storm, or the calm before one. There's a beautiful sort of symmetry to this nature, wouldn't you say? Havoc flanks peace on either side, and nature, life, creativity, emotions...you name it... all carry along to this singular rhythm, ad nauseum.

Most days, I'm scared. Dumbstruck. At some point which I can't discern, overwhelmed becomes paralyzed, and all I can manage then is awe at the mess in my head. But then, there are days like today, when I feel like everything I have lived and thought and felt, everything that lives in me, thinks for me, and stirs me, has been biding for this moment. I wish I had tricks to summon this state of mind, to elicit assertion on demand. Maybe you do?